At end of the day, we are all here to experience. An outcome is not the final reward but rather the journey.
These were the words from a monk to me when I told him that I don't feel worthy of taking vows because I told him of all my failures. He said further that I must try my best and that he doesn't expect me to master the all the vows all at once.
Because enlightenment or kingdom of God is a Journey into the unknown. Everyone claims they want it but no one wants to do the work which is to face their own demons along the way. As long as they are safe, no one else matters! Please note that this is true for me. I'm not attacking anyone.
Most of our demons disappear or isn’t real at all. Especially if you face them head on. Don’t ever fight them! Just allow them to be. Make friends with them.
No man’s land can sometimes be exhilarating!